A grudge is 'a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.' As humans, we are social animals. No one is an island. We need one another to survive. That's the essence of being in a society; for interaction and interdependence. Now, how is it possible to relate with people without having misunderstandings once in a while? It's practically impossible. Therefore, it is expected that we step on each other's toes occasionally. Hence, the importance of this post.
I know someone who can hold a grudge for Africa. In fact, he'll tell you the exact date and time that you offended him. He usually has it recorded in his diary. It'll amaze you that he'd even describe the weather on that day. Sounds weird? Lol. Actually, I know this person personally. No wonder he's always sick. You see, I'm not saying you don't have the right to get angry when someone offends you. Of course, you do! But learn to let go.
Personally, what I used to do is this: if you offend me, I'll simply forgive AND FORGET you. Later, after some experience, it dawned on me that I wasn't being fair. The other person who wronged you most times deserves to know what they did wrong, and if they're repentant, sometimes deserves a second chance. Now, what I do is this: if you offend me, I'll look for a convenient time to tell you in a calm way that I'm not happy with this or that. Then, we settle. Though, whether the person is sorry or not, I've learned how to forgive.
Yes. Forgiveness is the solution to holding a grudge. A wise person said, 'holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.' Sounds foolish, right? Yet, that's what we do sometimes. Know that as long as you're holding a grudge, you're living in the past. Sometimes, the person we need to forgive is ourselves. We call this regrets. You might have made a mistake in the past that hurt you or cost you so much. Rather than holding a grudge against yourself, realize that you're human and forgive yourself.
Why Should One Let Go Of Grudges?
1) Realize that we're all human. No one is perfect. We're all bound to make mistakes at some point.
2) Forgiveness benefits you more than the next person. Holding a grudge is a burden. It profits you nothing. Watch people who are so bitter. You'll realize that it's affecting their health. You don't want that, do you?
3) Holding a grudge is a waste of creative energy. It solves nothing.
How To Let Go Of Grudges
1) Talk about it to the person who hurt you. Communication is vital.
2) Pray about it. Sometimes, the cut is too deep that it'll only take God's help to heal and help you to totally forgive and move on.
3)Learn to love people unconditionally. Then, it'll be easier to forgive them in advance.
How Do You Deal With A Grudge Holder?
1)Apologize and mean it.
2)Ask how you can make it up to them.
3)If the person still refuses to let go, move on. At least, you've done your part.
I hope you found this post useful. Thanks.