Yes o. Time to address this issue. How many times do we hear of such stories carried by the media? It has become so rampant that it is now seen as a "normal" thing. But no, it must not happen to you! Like seriously, how do all these women keep repeating the same mistake? And why do the men keep falling into the same temptation? Or are they being 'Bewitched'? LOL. They say "the way to a man's heart is his stomach" after all. And guess what? In 'modern' families today, it is usually the maid that prepares the meals... This article is straight from the heart. There'd be no pointing of fingers or judgmental criticisms. I'm simply a concerned onlooker hoping to solve a problem through this piece. So, please follow me in the ensuing paragraphs. Can we deliberately take out time to answer these questions:
a) Why did I get married?
b) (if you're single) Why do I want to get married? Am I ready to get married?
I've never been married but based on facts, I can state categorically that marriage is a big deal. Oh yes, it is! It shouldn't be treated as a fun idea or something you just want to try to "see how it goes". I believe that one reason marriages fail is that the couple only prepares for the wedding, not marriage. Hence, they couldn't keep up with the demands and commitment their marriage required of them.
Take this scenario: a guy and a girl meet and "fall in love". The attraction is so deep that they find each other to be irresistible and so, decide to get married. They forget to consider defining factors such as character and compatibility. They feel that their love alone would sustain them. (Hope you know that love can die?) Now, after the honeymoon, they both resume at their jobs. They work the typical 9-5 but due to demands from their bosses and traffic jam, they get home late. Down the line, they start having issues. The husband feels his wife should resign or at least, make out time from her job to make the home. The wife feels her husband is being chauvinistic. Why can't he be the one to resign? This is the 21st century for crying out loud. Married women should also be allowed to have a career. Besides, she is gunning for a promotion at work, so she has to be more dedicated to her job... To solve this issue, they decide the only way out is to get a maid. Okay now, Ekaette has arrived (I don't know why they're always called Ekaette in the movies, LOL). The Maid takes over the maintenance of the house, including taking care of Oga when Madam is not around. Later, when Oga and Madam have children, Ekaette acts as the nanny and takes care of them. Gradually, the maid is becoming a part of the family. It always looks innocent from the start. Some women even say, "Taaa!!! My husband can never leave a sophisticated woman like me for that Bush girl". Hmm. I hope so. Anyway, before you know it, Oga is feeling "one kain", and Madam is not in the mood. She has not been in the mood for a while now because her job always leaves her drained. Then, Oga remembers Ekaette that's in the other room. He thinks it'll only be just one night, but before you know it, it becomes a regular occurrence and GBAM!!! Ekaette and Oga are expecting a bouncing baby boy... I guess you can figure out the rest of the story.
Typical, right? It might sound funny, but it happens. Though, it's not in all cases that the man leaves his wife for the maid, but still... Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against married women being industrious. Neither am I indulging married men to go snooping around with the maid. All I'm saying is if you are a married career woman, learn how to strike the balance between having a successful career and a happy home. There must be a way out, find it! Even if it means getting a houseboy instead of Ekaette. LOL.
People always think it can't happen to them until it eventually does (if they do nothing to prevent it). You may be saying, "Ah no, my husband is a saint. He is very understanding etc". Well, nice. But men would always be men. Don't take his understanding and gentle nature for granted. You should take the necessary steps today to avert such blows.
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It'll be worth your time. In the spirit of Valentine, expect more love and relationship-centered posts this month. All the best!
Write up by Maronymic
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